The Desire of a Manic Depressive
Oh the desire for a steady mood,
for one that Bipolar does not intrude,
to level out the diverse swings,
the need to succeed and other things,
but the clouded reality could make you scream,
for this desire remains a dream.
- Emma Mack
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Routines, and diets.
A few things that I think are super important, and easy to do are plenty of sleep, a steady routine, and a healthy diet free of pesticides and food coloring.
Really , its not as hard as you think.
Make a schedule and stick to it, remember mamma is the boss, haha. Take into account that most people with mental health struggles need a little more sleep than others, and children even more so, I schedule 9-10 hours for my 14 year old.
second, since things that come unexpected will throw anyone for a loop, keep a steady schedule so that they know what to expect and what comes next, when things are going to change, talk about it ahead of time if possible.
The diet, OK, this one takes a little more work, and its best if you get the whole family on the same page, so as not to single the child out. Pesticides and food colorings have been shown to have an impact on focus, learning, and central nervous system, even if its only a little, lets doo all we can and eliminate these things. I have read about other moms who take it one further and go gluten free as well, thats my next ambition.
Eating healthy will also help with weight so to help the all too often low self-esteem that we find in our children with MI.
Hope this helps, I look forward to your input
Really , its not as hard as you think.
Make a schedule and stick to it, remember mamma is the boss, haha. Take into account that most people with mental health struggles need a little more sleep than others, and children even more so, I schedule 9-10 hours for my 14 year old.
second, since things that come unexpected will throw anyone for a loop, keep a steady schedule so that they know what to expect and what comes next, when things are going to change, talk about it ahead of time if possible.
The diet, OK, this one takes a little more work, and its best if you get the whole family on the same page, so as not to single the child out. Pesticides and food colorings have been shown to have an impact on focus, learning, and central nervous system, even if its only a little, lets doo all we can and eliminate these things. I have read about other moms who take it one further and go gluten free as well, thats my next ambition.
Eating healthy will also help with weight so to help the all too often low self-esteem that we find in our children with MI.
Hope this helps, I look forward to your input
Sunday, July 18, 2010
yesterday we were gone for a few hours and cme back to find my son had been playing with water ,,,and fire,,,I have not see the plating with fire before, and have been asked in most standard forms at psychiatrist and psychologists about preoccupation with fire, so of course my mind went straight to &^%ohno!!!FIRE%^4AAHH.!!
Then I thought to myself, better not make a big deal out of it, after all it may never happen again, .
There is of course the danger of not thinking of consequences for actions and taking risks that fits my son to a tee, hence 4 broken bones over a 6 year period. And so , therefore, i will worry and keep an eye out for playing with fire, just add it to my list.
I think one thing we do in parenting children with mental health issues is put out lots of "guiderails".
More so than with my other children, with this son I need to put out many more guiderails, always redirecting and getting back on track, often denying some activities, as they would most certainly cause a flair up, such as all nighters. Lack of sleep is a certain trigger, and denying things like midnite toilet papering etc, for us is a must. Not easy, but has to be done.
Then I thought to myself, better not make a big deal out of it, after all it may never happen again, .
There is of course the danger of not thinking of consequences for actions and taking risks that fits my son to a tee, hence 4 broken bones over a 6 year period. And so , therefore, i will worry and keep an eye out for playing with fire, just add it to my list.
I think one thing we do in parenting children with mental health issues is put out lots of "guiderails".
More so than with my other children, with this son I need to put out many more guiderails, always redirecting and getting back on track, often denying some activities, as they would most certainly cause a flair up, such as all nighters. Lack of sleep is a certain trigger, and denying things like midnite toilet papering etc, for us is a must. Not easy, but has to be done.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
lies and blame
These few days of school have been on and off, tuesday he went, wednesday he didnt, thursday he went, friday he didnt, monday he went,,,and tuesday hewent. each day there was a struggle in the morning, weather he ended up going to school or not, and it was always, the school is dumb,
the school is retarded,
everyone makes fun of me,
i hate the school,
until today, this morning it was, i hate you, and its all your fault I'm going etc, so,, we are back to normal. Because thats whats normal here in our house, he hates me and everything is my fault,
If he has nothing to wear , its my fault, if his pants dont fit, its my fault, etc. Lats week, i gave him a new pair of shorts, well that was wrong because they were waaay too big, , but he wore them, This week, after a washing, the shorts were waay too small( my fault) but he wore them,,,
I have been sending money with him to buy lunch, and he comes home and tells me lunch was free, well, yesterday he spent the lunch money on arizona teas, so today I didnt give him lunch money since lunch was free,,, well that was wrong,,,
yesterday I asked him, where did you get money fro the teas,
he said " my friend gave it tome, I have 3 friends already"
so I said, then you have my 3 dollars still,
he said no
so i said, well then you spent them on the teas,
he said no,,,
eventually the truth did come out,
he spent the 3 dollars on the teas, I dont know why he lies about the obvious, but he does it all the time, i think he wants to be caught, but usually it ends in a huge blow up, today it was a small blow up, just a little yellling, and one door slamming, that all,,
the school is retarded,
everyone makes fun of me,
i hate the school,
until today, this morning it was, i hate you, and its all your fault I'm going etc, so,, we are back to normal. Because thats whats normal here in our house, he hates me and everything is my fault,
If he has nothing to wear , its my fault, if his pants dont fit, its my fault, etc. Lats week, i gave him a new pair of shorts, well that was wrong because they were waaay too big, , but he wore them, This week, after a washing, the shorts were waay too small( my fault) but he wore them,,,
I have been sending money with him to buy lunch, and he comes home and tells me lunch was free, well, yesterday he spent the lunch money on arizona teas, so today I didnt give him lunch money since lunch was free,,, well that was wrong,,,
yesterday I asked him, where did you get money fro the teas,
he said " my friend gave it tome, I have 3 friends already"
so I said, then you have my 3 dollars still,
he said no
so i said, well then you spent them on the teas,
he said no,,,
eventually the truth did come out,
he spent the 3 dollars on the teas, I dont know why he lies about the obvious, but he does it all the time, i think he wants to be caught, but usually it ends in a huge blow up, today it was a small blow up, just a little yellling, and one door slamming, that all,,
Im the beginning
when I first came to parent my son , he was almost 3 years old, and within a few weeks he was having extreme tantrums, and spewing profanity at me, I was shocked to say the leats. The tantrums were almost like spinning in circles with his arms out and going up and down, so as to do the most possible damage. followed of course by the standard throwing himself on the ground and beating it. For a while I thought , wow, these are radical terrible two's, then at 5 and 6 they were still there. I thought all along that I could "love" him well, by the time second round of 3rd grade came, I realized that this was bigger thanme and that I needed help, so we set out to get psychiatric help, got meds and therapy, been doing this for five years now...
Over the years, when ever something is unexpected, or of authority, we usually get a blow-up, and since I am usually the one who decides and controls things, as most mams do, most of the uglyness and hatred is directed at me. I do realize that much of it stems from before i got him, and tht most of it is outside of his control, but that doesnt always take the sting from what is happening. Today after 12 years, i can pretty well walk away and stay calm, because I have learned how over the years and picked up tools on how to interact with a child with his condition,
but surprisingly, I still get exhausted by it. I had 2 days away, this weekend, and the first day back, I was exhausted by 5 oclock!
Over the years, when ever something is unexpected, or of authority, we usually get a blow-up, and since I am usually the one who decides and controls things, as most mams do, most of the uglyness and hatred is directed at me. I do realize that much of it stems from before i got him, and tht most of it is outside of his control, but that doesnt always take the sting from what is happening. Today after 12 years, i can pretty well walk away and stay calm, because I have learned how over the years and picked up tools on how to interact with a child with his condition,
but surprisingly, I still get exhausted by it. I had 2 days away, this weekend, and the first day back, I was exhausted by 5 oclock!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
more resources
A website that i found informative for pediatric onset Bipolar disorder is BPkids.org, but now I cant find it anymore, there are lots out there though. Plus NAMI covers pediatric onset bipolar disorder.
theres lots of info on ADHD, and how it is often accompanied by ODD, as in my sons case.
One thing thats difficult to find good info on is RAD, reactive attachment disorder, a good website is radkid.org, and you should be able to find a therapist through their directory, RAD therapists are few and far between. and I have not seen this issue covered on the NAMI site.
/www.therapeuticmilieu.org/
Here's a website with lots of good info, i found especially residentials through here
do you have any resources you would like to share with me?
theres lots of info on ADHD, and how it is often accompanied by ODD, as in my sons case.
One thing thats difficult to find good info on is RAD, reactive attachment disorder, a good website is radkid.org, and you should be able to find a therapist through their directory, RAD therapists are few and far between. and I have not seen this issue covered on the NAMI site.
/www.therapeuticmilieu.org/
Here's a website with lots of good info, i found especially residentials through here
do you have any resources you would like to share with me?
first day of non public school
Well, i got up early tuesday morning to get ready for the big day, and,,, he wouldn't go. Iwasnt all that surprised, he told me the day before he wasnt going, he also wouldnt go do bloodwork, so then I had to take him off the lithium, and called for a replacement, meanwhile I am not giving him the adhd med since that can lead to agression, which obviously we dont want to do in an already agressive violent type. He was pretty defiant most of the day, trying to control things, which is the RAD, we had started RAD therapy couple of months ago,but he wouldnt participate much of the time, so I stopped. Its really hard to find a RAD therapist, and I had high hopes for the therapy, but oh well, just another let down. By the end of the day, he was calm, and we, much to my surprise, had a conversation about mental Illness without arguing, then he asked me to watch a special about it with him, amazing. then he went to bed, and the next morning got up and I took him to school. I left there at 9 oclock, and 1 hour 15 minutes later I had the first call from school.
The big difference now is they are not asking me to come pick him up, they are just letting me know whats going on! I'm sure part of his plan in being defiant was he thought he would get picked up, thats what happens in public school, but not now, this is the big league, these people will actually handle the problem!!WOW!!
He didnt actually have any class time, but came home on the van with the other kids, had some time in therapy with the DR of the school.
That evening we talked with him about school and he informed us he wasnt going the next day, and next morning, sure enough, refuses to go again..
also refused the consequence for refusing to go to school, which is staying in his room, so now I have a defiant child who pretty much does what he wants!
Since I am stillwaiting to get a new med and get him stable on it, I am not pushing any unpleasant issues with him, in fear he'll escalate into an episode where he wants to kill me again.
It sure is a slow process.
The big difference now is they are not asking me to come pick him up, they are just letting me know whats going on! I'm sure part of his plan in being defiant was he thought he would get picked up, thats what happens in public school, but not now, this is the big league, these people will actually handle the problem!!WOW!!
He didnt actually have any class time, but came home on the van with the other kids, had some time in therapy with the DR of the school.
That evening we talked with him about school and he informed us he wasnt going the next day, and next morning, sure enough, refuses to go again..
also refused the consequence for refusing to go to school, which is staying in his room, so now I have a defiant child who pretty much does what he wants!
Since I am stillwaiting to get a new med and get him stable on it, I am not pushing any unpleasant issues with him, in fear he'll escalate into an episode where he wants to kill me again.
It sure is a slow process.
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