Whats important to look at and what makes children with behaviour issues different and needing more parenting than others is the way they react to everyday and not everyday occurrences.
With my son the BP++, things like I dont have any clean clothes , ends up in a blaming and yelling, and if i'm not careful, " you hate me, I'm retarded" blurtedout. Because many things get blown way out of proportion in their head, the minute theres doesnt seem to be anything to wear, for example, the whole day seems to be lost and how can I go on without clothes, i must be unloved etc.
So, to pull them back down to earth with, "ok, lets see whats in your closet" might take a half an hour, because I cant get a word in between the insults and anger.
Another is to be called in to get ready for the week on a sunday before its dark, becomes a digging in " no, i'm not, go ahead, make me, you &^$%&$!
These are of course not "normal" reactions, while other of my children may resist coming inside before dark, only the 3 year old toddler, and the 14 year old BP, actually end up in a full blown tantrum over it