I dont want this blog to become a place where i just vent negativity, so i'm writing one before my son gets up, lol. At times through his life he has been a very happy boy, he used to sing while on the toilet and in the shower, but then get screaming mad shortly thereafter, we tried everything between heaven and earth to keep the happy boy going and not let in the screamer, coaching , getting in touch with anger, recognizing anger before it gets ahold, seeking the happy feelings, you name it. its sad to watch, because when there is happiness present it can be good, until RAD sets in, or ADHD takes over, then frustrations will kick in and Bipolar rears its ugly face!! arrgh!!
.so we keep going, chin up! lets find a new med, another technique, another therapist, lets try again, i will never give up1 Whatever it takes,,I'll do it!! Hoping you all take the same stand, as i am sure you will if you are moms of pediatric onset mental illness, after all, what else can we do? they are our children...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
medications
We are right now in a transition stage as far as medication goes, these times are always a little stressful. In the past there has always been one constant mood stabilizer along with an adhd med and a second mood stabilizer, so when we do a change, we step down one, introduce a new one and eventually face out the first one, while all along having the one constant med. last time we went for med evaluation, we cut out one and started fazing out a second, to see how he would do without medisin, since as you can imagine, he thinks he doesnt need medisin and in fact the medisin is whats making him mad(!?)so now we are at the scary point where he is only taking his adhd meds, and ooh, let me tell you, wowweee. he is all over the place, flailing, arguing, twitching, yelling, in my face, angry, all over the place, argued for over an hour about eating dinner!
now we are going to try lithium, so i add that to the loooong list of meds, . in the past we have tried resperahl, lamictal, depakote,abilify,trileptol, and probably some more that i cant even remember.
the psych already said we will probably have to up the dose and add anothet accompanying medisin to get it right,wheew, lets see how it goes,
now we are going to try lithium, so i add that to the loooong list of meds, . in the past we have tried resperahl, lamictal, depakote,abilify,trileptol, and probably some more that i cant even remember.
the psych already said we will probably have to up the dose and add anothet accompanying medisin to get it right,wheew, lets see how it goes,
Thursday, June 24, 2010
threats
Today I started a conversation with my son about non public school and going to school and residential, so in trying to explain and answer questions, he opposes everything, argues everything and even argues to the point of contradicting himself, now he has threatened to kill me, kill himself, run away, make my life miserable, kill all his future teachers, kill everyone at residential,,,
and its apparently our fault that Martin is angry, that he is bipolar and that his life is the way it is,,,
It is really hard to try to talk reason into someone who has no reasonable thought, to explain logic to someone who lives in another reality. So now i listen to banging on walls, and threats til I dont know when, sadly also my toddler does not understand, but doesunderstand that her brother is upset, and so to her it looks like we are not nice to brother,,,
and its apparently our fault that Martin is angry, that he is bipolar and that his life is the way it is,,,
It is really hard to try to talk reason into someone who has no reasonable thought, to explain logic to someone who lives in another reality. So now i listen to banging on walls, and threats til I dont know when, sadly also my toddler does not understand, but doesunderstand that her brother is upset, and so to her it looks like we are not nice to brother,,,
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
non public school
Here in so cal, a special education school for emotionally disturbed children, is referred to as a non public school, its still funded by the school district and through mental health, but they call it a non public school, for whatever reason. Anyway, I was talking wiht my son about his upcoming enrollment in a non public school, and told him that we have to go meet with them next week, so he can talk to them, he said, no i'm not going to talk to them, and if they try to talk to me, i'm gonna shoot them all!
Wow, and he doesnt think theres any reason for a special school?
He is really interested in playing sports at the high school level, and I told him the only way back to high school public high school, is if he goes to non public and does well there, so he said ok, ill go, but i'm not talking to them, and i'm NOT playing sports there1
OK? Have it your way!!
Is any one else experiencing this kind of parenting obstacles?
Wow, and he doesnt think theres any reason for a special school?
He is really interested in playing sports at the high school level, and I told him the only way back to high school public high school, is if he goes to non public and does well there, so he said ok, ill go, but i'm not talking to them, and i'm NOT playing sports there1
OK? Have it your way!!
Is any one else experiencing this kind of parenting obstacles?
residential recomendation
So yesterday I received the recomendation for residential treatment, which is also approval for funding, and while I research the options, of course my son is buzy badgering me about anything and everything, snapping, blaming, grunting, whatever, it seems he just wants everyone to be miserable. also whenever I attempt to discuss with him the upcoming events in his life, I have to put up with a certain level of verbal abuse, apparently its my fault he is the way he is, and its my fault that he has to go to residential and special education school. Sometimes, when it becomes too much for me and I want to lash back, i stop, and instead I start singing to the Lord, walk with me Lord, through the house, this gives me strength to go on, but of course it irritates him, but then again everything irritates him, so I keep on trudging. I dont know why I was given a child to raise with mental health issues, but Im sure God does and that the reason will be revealed at some point. One thing I can tell you that I know, it is NOT easy, and all of you who do it, I pray peace upon you and your household
Thursday, June 17, 2010
education
I am writing this blog in an effort to help other parents of children with mental illness who are struggling with the parenting and ensuring that their children receive an education.
Parenting a child with bipolar disorder is extremely challenging, I will attempt to go through the chronology of events that took my son to eventually being placed in a non public school for children with emotional disorders.
What I have learned over the last 12 years, I hope to share with someone who doesnt know, so that you wont struggle to find the answers. One thing to keep in mind when your child starts to act out at home and at school, first take him to a psychiatrist, and get an evaluation and if applicable a diagnoses. The public school system has a duty to educate your child no matter what their academic or emotional circumstance. As soon as you start to suspect that your child may need more than what he or she is getting in the classroom, approach the teachers and counselors and ask for evaluation for IEP. Having an IEP in place is the first step in the process,no matter how far you may need to take it. I have had my child to several therapists and psychiatrist, keep going til you find one that you feel is doing what is right for youur child, and when that changes , because it might, thengo ahead and make a switch. You are going to have to be very assertive, you have to advocate, and insist that things be done. the services are in place, but no one is going to offer the information unless you ask. One of the hardest things I think, is fighting for his rights as a child, while he fights against me in everything I do, but I cannot let that stop me, I have seen first hand how often people with bipolar disorder end up in and out of jail and prison, or being suicidal and even ending their life. It is imperative that I do everything in my power to ensure that his life is as normal as possible.
We got our first IEP in place in the third grade, and that gave him RSP, which means he now has 2 or 3 periods a week in a classroom with a special teacher who ensures he is staying on task with his homework and classwork. The IEP team meets once a year to discuss education and behaviour goals and progress, but you the parent can call for an additional IEP meeting whenever you have something you want to discuss!! with behaviour issue there will be a plan implemented as to how and what the child will do in the event of conflict, or whatever is the concern for that child. For mine its conflict, and this will often result in threats of violence , violence, and profanity and vulgarity.
As things progress, more services will be needed, you can start with county mental health, but may find as I did that its not nesessarily the best. I also found that play therapy, which is what 90% of pediatric therapists will do, is useless, so keep looking til you find what works for you and your child. If your child is being sent out of class repaetedly, or is not keeping up wiht the work, call a meeting and discuss further services.
The next step for us, after 3 years, was a special day class for emotionally disturbed children. some schools have this at their campus,you will have to ask, they have the resources to find out,just keep asking. You can also call the district, and at some point your child will probably be offered weekly sessions with the school psychologist, that person also has some answers, but you will have to ask, the information is not offered up front. I think that the school psychologist is restricted from saying things about your child unless you ask, and have a diagnosis, for instance he canot suggest diagnoses for you. If and when your child has trouble even with the special day class, and is being sent out or home often, its time for another evaluation.
Iwent through a period when my son was being sent out of class for disruptive and inappropriate behaviour every week, and sometimes several times a week. They were sending him to work with the janitor! Ok, he liked working with the janitor, and it helped to calm him down, but lets not forget why our children go to school, for instruction, and the janitor is not instructing, so we had to limit this and make it an insentive rather than a solution. Also,if your child is in special ed , they cannot suspend the child more than 10 times in a school year to a truancy center, and they may try to get around that by giving him or her suspension to home, unrecorded. Make sure everything that is done at school is documented, you may also at this point start keeping a folder at home to document all the things that go on at home, especially if your child is violent like mine.
After being sent out of class repeatedly, it became apparent that my son needed a more restrictive setting inorder to receive his education. Most people , like my family and I, cannot afford the care that is required when it comes to mental health related issues,psychatric care is very costly,as long as your child is under 18 and its interfering with his education, the school system/district will pay for what is neede in order for the child to get an eduation with a diploma if possible, and if a diploma is not possible then with a certificate of completion and training in how to get a job etc.
There is a little known program called AB3632, which covers cost related to a special ed student outside of the normal classroom, again no one will tell you about it, you will find it on the IEP form, next to a box to check, and along with numerous other things that go unexplained.
this program covers almost everything even residential treatment, should you need it. This as you may know costs several thousand dollars per month, the application process takes about 4-6 months, and you have to stay proactive.
We are now in the process of placing our child in a non public school for emotional disturbed, while we wait for the paperwork for residential treatment to be processed. This will happen at the time our son would normally go inot high school, and needless to say, he is not happy about it, however as a parent I have to stay focused on the fact that he needs to get an education, and unless and until he gets his mental health issues under somewhat control, he is only going to continue being suspended and expelled. So this is where we are right now, I hope someone can get useful information, and as things progress I will continue to fill this blog with the information I receive. God Bless you , and your children, remember they are Gods children entrusted to us while here on earth, and we have to do our very best by them for Him.
Parenting a child with bipolar disorder is extremely challenging, I will attempt to go through the chronology of events that took my son to eventually being placed in a non public school for children with emotional disorders.
What I have learned over the last 12 years, I hope to share with someone who doesnt know, so that you wont struggle to find the answers. One thing to keep in mind when your child starts to act out at home and at school, first take him to a psychiatrist, and get an evaluation and if applicable a diagnoses. The public school system has a duty to educate your child no matter what their academic or emotional circumstance. As soon as you start to suspect that your child may need more than what he or she is getting in the classroom, approach the teachers and counselors and ask for evaluation for IEP. Having an IEP in place is the first step in the process,no matter how far you may need to take it. I have had my child to several therapists and psychiatrist, keep going til you find one that you feel is doing what is right for youur child, and when that changes , because it might, thengo ahead and make a switch. You are going to have to be very assertive, you have to advocate, and insist that things be done. the services are in place, but no one is going to offer the information unless you ask. One of the hardest things I think, is fighting for his rights as a child, while he fights against me in everything I do, but I cannot let that stop me, I have seen first hand how often people with bipolar disorder end up in and out of jail and prison, or being suicidal and even ending their life. It is imperative that I do everything in my power to ensure that his life is as normal as possible.
We got our first IEP in place in the third grade, and that gave him RSP, which means he now has 2 or 3 periods a week in a classroom with a special teacher who ensures he is staying on task with his homework and classwork. The IEP team meets once a year to discuss education and behaviour goals and progress, but you the parent can call for an additional IEP meeting whenever you have something you want to discuss!! with behaviour issue there will be a plan implemented as to how and what the child will do in the event of conflict, or whatever is the concern for that child. For mine its conflict, and this will often result in threats of violence , violence, and profanity and vulgarity.
As things progress, more services will be needed, you can start with county mental health, but may find as I did that its not nesessarily the best. I also found that play therapy, which is what 90% of pediatric therapists will do, is useless, so keep looking til you find what works for you and your child. If your child is being sent out of class repaetedly, or is not keeping up wiht the work, call a meeting and discuss further services.
The next step for us, after 3 years, was a special day class for emotionally disturbed children. some schools have this at their campus,you will have to ask, they have the resources to find out,just keep asking. You can also call the district, and at some point your child will probably be offered weekly sessions with the school psychologist, that person also has some answers, but you will have to ask, the information is not offered up front. I think that the school psychologist is restricted from saying things about your child unless you ask, and have a diagnosis, for instance he canot suggest diagnoses for you. If and when your child has trouble even with the special day class, and is being sent out or home often, its time for another evaluation.
Iwent through a period when my son was being sent out of class for disruptive and inappropriate behaviour every week, and sometimes several times a week. They were sending him to work with the janitor! Ok, he liked working with the janitor, and it helped to calm him down, but lets not forget why our children go to school, for instruction, and the janitor is not instructing, so we had to limit this and make it an insentive rather than a solution. Also,if your child is in special ed , they cannot suspend the child more than 10 times in a school year to a truancy center, and they may try to get around that by giving him or her suspension to home, unrecorded. Make sure everything that is done at school is documented, you may also at this point start keeping a folder at home to document all the things that go on at home, especially if your child is violent like mine.
After being sent out of class repeatedly, it became apparent that my son needed a more restrictive setting inorder to receive his education. Most people , like my family and I, cannot afford the care that is required when it comes to mental health related issues,psychatric care is very costly,as long as your child is under 18 and its interfering with his education, the school system/district will pay for what is neede in order for the child to get an eduation with a diploma if possible, and if a diploma is not possible then with a certificate of completion and training in how to get a job etc.
There is a little known program called AB3632, which covers cost related to a special ed student outside of the normal classroom, again no one will tell you about it, you will find it on the IEP form, next to a box to check, and along with numerous other things that go unexplained.
this program covers almost everything even residential treatment, should you need it. This as you may know costs several thousand dollars per month, the application process takes about 4-6 months, and you have to stay proactive.
We are now in the process of placing our child in a non public school for emotional disturbed, while we wait for the paperwork for residential treatment to be processed. This will happen at the time our son would normally go inot high school, and needless to say, he is not happy about it, however as a parent I have to stay focused on the fact that he needs to get an education, and unless and until he gets his mental health issues under somewhat control, he is only going to continue being suspended and expelled. So this is where we are right now, I hope someone can get useful information, and as things progress I will continue to fill this blog with the information I receive. God Bless you , and your children, remember they are Gods children entrusted to us while here on earth, and we have to do our very best by them for Him.
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